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We have a president-elect that I didn't predict. I still don't fully understand what it all means.
This post is not about him. It's about people, or more accurately, each person.
There were things about this election that were alarming to me. Dishonesty, narcissism, willing to do anything for power, manipulation, denigrating perceived opponents, maneuvering politically at the expense of principles, coarsening of the culture, imposing on others a set of ideals... all of these I saw on both sides as I watched the drama unfold. I watched as politicians tore into their opponents, and their followers do the same. In some ways I felt like an outsider watching a civil war.
And war it seems to be. It's a culture war at the moment, but things are getting even worse. There are outbursts of violence, and if we don't stop, there will be more. Please everyone, stop.
We are so divided. I read articles and posts today speaking of hated of various races, religions, demographics, sexes, and other groups. On both sides. "Christian white males..." "People of color..." "Women..." "Millennials..." "Muslims..." "Red state people..." "Liberals..." "Baby boomers..." "Gay..." "Hillary supporters..." "Trump supporters..."
Stop. STOP.
Hater Mad-lib: Fill in the blanks.
Those (pejorative adjective) ______ (plural noun) ______ are always (negative verb ending with -ing) _____ the (something you like) ______ .
You've heard it, haven't you? If you have been paying attention, you've heard it from people on your side of the divide as well as the other. When you hear this again, if you can, stop the other person. Bring up an example of someone you know who breaks this stereotype. Help the person think of this unpopular group as individuals, and not a collective.
In the last year, I've seen the "opposing side" of the political divide painted with broader and broader strokes until they stop being people. They become two-dimensional caricatures, used as objects of derision. And this is true of both... no... ALL sides of the debate.
I hate the labels. Oh, I certainly have my own background, beliefs, and thoughts (political, spiritual, and otherwise), but I don't want to be labeled and tossed into a box. If there is a label I choose to accept, I don't want to be perceived as only that. And I don't want anyone else to feel obligated to fit in a box either.
Someone asked me how I feel about Muslims. I don't know "Muslims." I know B. and N., siblings who are funny and brilliant and really cool. I know A. who was a bit reserved, but responded with supreme dignity when I saw his beliefs insulted. I know G., who was one of the kindest people I have interacted with (and many acquaintances whose names have long-since drifted away), but I don't know "Muslims" in general. The people I have known who identify as Muslim have been so different from each other that I can't collectively group them.
The same is true with people of color, or white people, or Christians, Wiccans, atheists, liberals or conservatives, LGBT+ people, soccer enthusiasts, unicorn fanciers, cosplayers, snake owners, survivalists, or nudists*, or hermits, or... or... or...
In each group, there are people who are kind and giving, fun and enlightening, and I want to be around them. And there are some who are hate-filled and mean, unable to see beyond themselves, and generally disagreeable and I don't want to be around them. Mostly, people don't fall into the extremes. Mostly they're just individuals... quirky, interesting, passionate, confused, scared, silly, curious, and occasionally defeated individuals who often make mistakes, sometimes bad ones, but who mostly are just wanting to be loved, to fit in, and to be ok.
We don't have to be the same. We don't have to agree. We can have our own ways of thinking, and choose our associates. But to make life livable, we need to accept individuals with all their nuances. Reject the idea that if we only get rid of the 'other' that everything will be great. We all need to know people who are different, and respect the differences without losing our own unique perspective.
If you're with me, there's room at my table... for all of you.
* Disclaimer: To be honest, I don't actually know any nudists, or at least I don't know that I know any. But I'm pretty sure they'd be a mixed bag like any other group.
